Are they lying? Or telling us what we want to hear?

Lying has no gender. MANY women lie, MANY men lie. Few people tell the truth 100% of the time. Often, people aren’t really sure of their truth. People often say things that are partially true, or seem true, in the moment, and then are afraid to take it back.

Many of us like to keep our comfortable illusions, and we can ignore early clues as to to the truth. We don’t fully want to hear it.

The worst lies are from callous people deliberately trying to manipulate. Others lie for convenience or out of laziness. The most common lies are due to cowardice. Many people are just naturally cowardly, but sometimes we make it harder for them to tell the truth by our reactions. If we really loved to hear truth, perhaps we wouldn’t punish the messenger.

We can’t really control other people (except in our bdsm fantasies). That means we can’t totally control their truthfulness. It’s better to select people that are truthful in the first place, rather than try to reform them.  All we can do is (1) be truthful ourselves, (2) be good listeners, (3) respect our intuition, (4) double-check anything that seems to good to be true.

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